Christianity 101

Don't get the whole "Christianity" thing? I can help.

7. "What if I want to believe, but I just don’t think I do?"

Pray for the gift of faith! Faith is “believing what we can’t see”, and if you keep reading your Bible and other books about Christianity, go to church so you can learn more, find friends who are also trying to live their faith and who you can “chew on” these things with, and if you keep asking God to help you grow, He’ll answer your prayers!

Mostly though, remember that even the greatest Saints doubted at times, that is normal and part of our humanity, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Rest in Him and know that He sticks with us no matter what we struggle with. If I find myself in times of doubt, I’ll pray a simple prayer from St. Thomas in the Bible (“doubting Thomas” – yep, that’s from the Bible!): “I believe Lord…help my unbelief.” (See the next question that touches on this topic, too.)

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8. "For me ‘it’ is just not there, why don’t I feel anything?"

“I was raised in a Christian church and have always tried to live right, I go to church on Sundays and I’ve even tried to pick up my Bible before, but I just don’t get it. I see other Christians who seem so “on fire” in their faith, and for me, “it” just isn’t there, why don’t I feel anything?”

First I need to tell you how awesome it is that you’re doing your best at living your faith, even when you don’t “feel” any strong emotions about God, but before we go further, we need to chat about the topic of feelings. Yes, it’s great when we have strong emotions and powerful experiences, and we all hope we’ll have them now and then, HOWEVER, God never said that was part of the equation.

We need to try to live the way He wants us to, no matter how we feel. Sometimes it might take a big scary situation in your life to bring you to your knees and then maybe you’ll have a conversion experience that will set you on fire. That’s how it happens for some — that’s actually how it happened for me. For others, it’s just a slow growing of your faith through the years, a continued quiet obedience to Him – maybe you’ll even have bigger blessings someday from the Lord, for following Him even when you didn’t have the strong feelings to go with it to push you along.

Most importantly, remember Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to help us follow Him, A S K for the Holy Spirit’s help! Ask to be filled up. If you still don’t “feel” anything, keep asking, but don’t assume He’s not there.

One note: sometimes the growth of our faith can be really hindered if there is some sin in our life that needs to go. You know whatever it is, and it’s time to let it go and get it out of your life. Later you won’t believe that you held on to and settled for that garbage for so long, when there was such beauty waiting to unfold in your life after you just did what He asked!

Also, and this is huge: if you aren’t feeling especially holy, even though you want to, St. Benedict said to begin by doing holy things, and that’s where it will start. Care for the poor, be unselfish when it’s most difficult, give away money (also called “tithing”) to those who need it, etc. Deacon Paul at our church put it this way today, “Pray, study, act”, and most likely the feelings will come.

Lastly, go back to the main FAQ page and check out #16 for more suggestions.  🙂

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9. "Is there really a heaven?"


This question makes me think of what it must be like for babies before they are born. They probably can’t “imagine” another world beyond where they are inside their mother. Yet they have to “die” to that world to be born into a new even bigger world.

We are the same way, where we are now seems fine to us (at times anyway) and sometimes we don’t want to die. But whether we want to or not, it will happen eventually, and if we are friends with Jesus, we’ll get to go to a bigger and much more wonderful world. One where there is no more illness or suffering or death or crime or natural disasters or traffic or whining or tears!

What if He is just waiting for you to come to Him? And what if He’s the most wonderful friend you’ll ever have?

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10. "How do we know what you’re saying is the REAL Truth?"

You don’t. You need to find all of this out for yourself, PRAY and ask God for help. Because even if everything I’m telling you that I believe to be the Truth with all my heart and soul someday ends up being wrong, there is still only ONE Truth. If I’m right I stand to gain everything: eternal life! If I’m wrong I lose nothing.

But don’t just stay in limbo, read more about all of this and see for yourself.  Start with these if you haven’t read them yet:

Need more convincing?

You have to see this movie:  The Case for Christ.

And read this book:  The Case for Christ.

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11. "But this is just YOUR truth, MY God wouldn’t …(fill in the blank)"

God doesn’t change depending on what we think is right or wrong. Even if we all “see” Him differently, it doesn’t mean He is different or that we can all live how we want. Instead it means we need to change ourselves to live how He asks.

As far as the Truth, even if you don’t agree with me, how can there be more than one version of the Truth? If I look at the color black, it doesn’t matter how much I tell you it’s white, how much I scream, “IT IS WHITE!”, how much I feel that it’s white, how many committees or laws or politicians say it is white…it doesn’t change the truth that it is black.

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12. "God loves me just the way I am."


He does love you, and He’ll always love us, but like any good parent, He wants us to grow closer to Him and become more and more the person He created us to be. As a parent when we see our kids doing things that we know will hurt them in the long run, we don’t say, “Oh, just let them have their fun“, because we know the consequences could be dangerous. God is the same way with us. He doesn’t tell us how we should live (and warn us of ways we should not live) because He wants to “spoil all our fun”, but because He knows what is best for us, and more importantly, what is best for our souls so we can all be with Him in heaven someday!  God loves us so much, that this path He set out for us always ends up to be the path to true joy in our lives anyway.

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13. "I’ve tried the ‘church’ thing before, it just doesn’t work for me."

Sometimes we need to get through a little of what may seem uncomfortable at first, to get through to the other side full of more peace and joy than you can imagine. If you’re not “feeling it” at church, jump in and get involved — reach out to others who may be feeling uncomfortable too (they’re out there, believe me), and who may need your help.  YOU may be the person God puts in their path to make a difference!  You may end up with a group of friends who you can’t imagine ever living life without again. Kent and I are so blessed to have many friends like this, who feel as close as family to us.  We’re there for each other no matter what.

But often it’s you who needs to make the first move, some people may be even more uncomfortable than you are. Or others may be longing for that deep friendship, but don’t know how to go about it. When we first started getting involved in our church years ago, we just invited some people over who we would see each week and say hi to, but never knew them beyond that. This was the beginning of many friendships. You’ve got to step out, though!

If that’s not your thing, then get involved with things at your church that are already set up for getting to know others.  If you’re single, find a group for singles.  (Or start one!).  If you’re married with no kids, find those people.  Married with young kids?  You get the idea.  Or just start volunteering with a ministry that tugs at your heart.  What’s your passion, where are you feeling called to help others?  Jump in at church (or anywhere) and start helping and changing lives!

Even beyond the friendships…

Some of you may be less social and don’t feel the need to make a connection to others like I mention above, but still, making church a priority each week is important.  Not only does it show God that He is a priority in your life (instead of sleeping in, even if it is your ‘only day to sleep in’), but that’s not all…  Your faith life grows when you’re part of the bigger community of believers at church, you learn more or are challenged through the scripture readings or sermon/homily, and especially for Catholics, receiving Jesus in the Eucharist is essential!  (More on that in another post.)

Have you been hurt by someone at church?

If you’ve been hurt by someone at church, remember, they are not God and they are not the Church.  Everyone there is not like them.  There are “bad apples” in every group of people.  I’m so sorry that you were hurt, and I know that for some it was no small thing, but don’t let that person, a mere human being, keep you from the Church (or God) forever.  That’s too much power to give someone who screwed up so royally.  Practice forgiveness, and not for them, for yourself.  Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was OK by any means.  It only means you no longer give them the power to let what they did negatively affect you anymore.  Maybe someday you can even pray for them.  But for now you can open your hands and let it go – let God take it.  Let Him carry it.  He can handle it and He wants to get that load off your shoulders.

Consider giving Church another try.

Please feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to about any of this:  Kelly@KellytheKitchenKop.com

This is a really good book about forgiveness.

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14. "What about the hypocrites?!"

“But look at (fill in the blank), HE is supposed to be a Christian, and he goes to that (fill in the blank) church, there’s no way I want to be like HIM, what a hypocrite!”

Remember this: God is perfect, His people aren’t anywhere close! If you see hypocrites around you, then you know you’re alive. All of us are hypocrites at times in our life. (If you disagree with me, go look in the mirror again.) If you’ve been hurt by someone in church leadership before, or other church members, or someone in the pew next to you, don’t blame God – He hates it even more than you do! If people are hypocrites that says nothing about God Himself, or even about that church, it only shows how those people need Him even more.

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15. "If God is so good, why does He let such rotten things happen?"

You’re not alone in trying to figure this one out.

With many “bad things”, it comes down to this: God didn’t design us all to be robots to go around doing his bidding. He gave us “free will” – which means we can choose if we want to love Him and follow Him and His ways…or not.

Sadly, many choose to go their own way; actually we all do at various times or in various ways in our lives (see the earlier question about “sin”). We humans have an amazing ability to convince ourselves that what we want to do is okay, and this leads to all sorts of problems, like crime, abortion, divorce, financial troubles, STD’s, you name it – including all of the “smaller things” that lead up to the big things.  And as much as this all saddens us (whether it’s a bad choice we made or someone who has wronged us), imagine how it must break God’s heart to see his children hurting each other.

When it comes to illness or accidents, sometimes it’s because we didn’t take care of ourselves or we weren’t being careful enough, but sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes it’s evil so dark that you don’t know WHY God didn’t stop it, but again, He doesn’t take away free will.

Sometimes crap just happens.  Does He allow it because of some greater good that He can bring from it?  I don’t know.

Here’s a really good post on this topic:  Not everything happens for a reason.

For all the unanswered questions, we have to file it under, “maybe we’ll find out someday”. 

That’s a very difficult phrase to live with because it means letting go of our own control issues and our need to figure everything out, and just trusting Him to get you through it. This is when the rubber meets the road and you find out what your faith is really made of.

Will you still love Him, even when it’s not easy? Even when you cannot for the life of you figure out why He would let (fill in the blank) happen?

Often people tell about how, even though they were angry with God (and by the way, He can take it), they stuck with Him, and had a peace through their hardship that they’d never have had without Him. He was their solid Rock to pull them through to the light on the other side. His arms are wide open and He wants nothing more than to be the One we lean on, the one to carry you just like in the popular poem, “Footprints in the Sand”:

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

I pray I’ll be able to walk the talk when my own time of suffering comes and that I can stay firm, trusting in Jesus, because I know my time will come…

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