13. "I’ve tried the ‘church’ thing before, it just doesn’t work for me."

Sometimes we need to get through a little of what may seem uncomfortable at first, to get through to the other side full of more peace and joy than you can imagine. If you’re not “feeling it” at church, jump in and get involved — reach out to others who may be feeling uncomfortable too (they’re out there, believe me), and who may need your help.  YOU may be the person God puts in their path to make a difference!  You may end up with a group of friends who you can’t imagine ever living life without again. Kent and I are so blessed to have many friends like this, who feel as close as family to us.  We’re there for each other no matter what.

But often it’s you who needs to make the first move, some people may be even more uncomfortable than you are. Or others may be longing for that deep friendship, but don’t know how to go about it. When we first started getting involved in our church years ago, we just started inviting people over who we would see each week and say hi to, but never knew them beyond that. This was the beginning of many friendships. You’ve got to step out, though!

If that’s not your thing, then get involved with things at your church that are already set up for getting to know others.  If you’re single, find a group for singles.  (Or start one!).  If you’re married with no kids, find those people.  Married with young kids?  You get the idea.  Or just start volunteering with a ministry that tugs at your heart.  What’s your passion, where are you feeling called to help others?  Jump in at church (or anywhere) and start helping and changing lives!

Even beyond the friendships…

Some of you may be less social and don’t feel the need to make a connection to others like I mention above, but still, making church a priority each week is important.  Not only does it show God that He is a priority in your life (instead of sleeping in, even if it is your ‘only day to sleep in’), but that’s not all…  Your faith life grows when you’re part of the bigger community of believers at church, you learn more or are challenged through the scripture readings or sermon/homily, and especially for Catholics, receiving Jesus in the Eucharist is essential!  (More on that in another post.)

Have you been hurt by someone at church?

If you’ve been hurt by someone at church, remember, they are not God and they are not the Church.  Everyone is not like them.  There are “bad apples” in every group of people.  I’m so sorry that you were hurt, and I know that for some it was no small thing, but don’t let that person, a mere human being, keep you from the Church, or from God, forever.  That’s too much power to give someone who screwed up so royally.

By the way…

Something that’s essential:  practice forgiveness, and not for them–for yourself.  “Unforgiveness is liking drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay by any means, it doesn’t even mean you have to see them or have a relationship with them.  It only means you no longer give them the power to let what they did negatively affect you anymore.  Maybe someday you can even pray for them.  But for now you can open your hands and let it go, let God take it.  Let Him carry it.  He can handle it and He wants to take that load off your shoulders.

Consider giving Church another try.

Please feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to about any of this:  Kelly@KellytheKitchenKop.com

This is a really good book about forgiveness.

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