We have close friends who are grieving the death of their teenage son. I sent this letter to them, hoping it would bring them a little comfort, and maybe you know someone who needs to hear these quotes and Scripture passages, too…
Dear friends,
We’ve lost babies through miscarriage and said goodbye to our nieces, my Dad, and special Grandparents, so grief is no stranger, but none of those are at the level of your loss. Still, I do know that grief is a strange beast.
I found some quotes and some words from the bible that I thought might help or bring you some comfort in these first few days and weeks of mourning.
Hold on to each other and to Jesus. And remember: we’re right here, call day or night. We’ll laugh with you or cry with you, your pick. 🙂
You will stay in my prayers, I love you both,
Kel
Quotes and Scriptures on Grief:
- Now the simple completion of each day is an achievement. ~From the book, She Said Yes, by the mother of Cassie Bernall
- If you’re going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill
- The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost. ~Arthur Schopenhauer
- In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll
- Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway. ~Mary C. Crowley
- While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~John Taylor
- The reality is that we don’t forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased children and siblings into our lives in a new way. In fact, keeping memories of your loved one alive in your mind and heart is an important part of your healing journey. ~Harriet Schiff, author of The Bereaved Parent
- We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there. ~Harold Kushner When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough
- No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. ~C.S. Lewis
- She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts. ~George Eliot
- Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. ~Earl Grollman
- You give yourself permission to grieve by recognizing the need for grieving. Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of a love. Grieving is not weakness nor absence of faith. Grieving is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches. It is nature’s way of healing a broken heart. ~Doug Manning
- Psalm 30:5b: Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
- Psalm 34:18: The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow…
- Psalm 57:1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, until the destroying storms pass by.
- Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings of eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
- Romans 8:38,29 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Hebrews 13:5 God has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.
Do you have more favorite quotes or Scriptures on grief that might bring someone comfort?
photo, Creative Commons 2.0
A great number of scriptures passages. However, one resource that I found most invaluable was Griefshare.org Many churches offer a several week support group or online if you sign up, Griefshare will send a daily devotional. The devotionals kinda walk you through the different stages we go through after the death of a loved one.
Thank you for sharing this. I cried as I remembered my daddy, and for those who are currently grieving.
Kelly,
Thanks! I’ve probably mentioned somewhere on your other blog how I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer on June 14, 2004. I took her to Seattle (from MN) for some new treatment that was supposed to help pancreatic cancer patients more than others (supposedly 50/50 ‘5-year survival’ rate). It involved the usual Whipple Procedure (nasty rearrangement of your organs) and some just barely out of experimental chemo regimen. I didn’t want to do it but didn’t know of other options with that nasty affliction that moves SO quickly. Still, with all the work and pain (she and I were out there, on and off, for about 3 months), we got to keep her almost a year — longer than most.
Anyway, the reason I’m going into this much detail is for background purposes. I was gone from my family for my son’s 7th birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, at least. My support system was here and the culture there was everything counter to what I believed (including an aunt and uncle with a wildly opposite spiritual belief system). Everyone (her siblings and mine) would call me every day to see how things were going. I got no sleep. I had no one to spend restorative time with, and I wasn’t leaning on God at all (or just barely).
I STILL haven’t bounced back and I know it’s not just psychological. I think I drained myself SO much I depleted my body’s reserves. I’m in the process of testing and looking into doing some of that now with the help of a newly discovered friend (from my hometown but her sister was in my class and I barely knew her then).
I’m just saying that you need to learn to take care of yourself and help others to do the same. The physical toll is so hard, too, and if it goes on too long, can really become a lasting effect. I had friends who couldn’t figure out why I didn’t ‘snap out of it’ which wasn’t helpful at all — but they didn’t understand and neither did I. I don’t know if this will be helpful, or not, but it’s really affected my life and I wish I’d knew more before than I did.
I meant ‘I wish I’d known…’ 🙂
Thank you. I needed to read those, although they made me cry and I am soooo tired of crying.
Kira,
I’m just about to head off to bed and will pray for you as I fall asleep. Remember He is crying right along with you.
Email anytime if you need support. 🙂 Kelly@KellytheKitchenKop.com
Kelly